'I'm not good at anything, no matter what I set my mind to. In the end I always fail at everything.'
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This type of self-perception is like a persistent shadow that inhibits the abilities of many people. It is the voice of low self-esteem—the whisper that annihilates life purposes, projects and even relationships.
The truth is that it would be glorious to always feel good, to be 100% sure of ourselves, and to perceive ourselves as competent 24/7. However there are times when we stop trusting in our worth, virtues and abilities. Why?
Why do we think this way of thinking
Feeling useless or unskilled is a common human experience. It is so because we are our own worst critics who set high standards for ourselves. It could also be because we live in a world where perfection, efficiency, and talent is all over social media.
For example, it is common for teenagers to feel that they are not good at anything at a very early stage in their lives. While they are still in the process of learning and developing, some already assume that they will never be as competent, attractive and brilliant as those celebrities they follow on Instagram or TikTok.
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Root of low self-esteem
We have already talked about the first cause: social comparison. We have become accustomed to measuring our worth by what others are, have and do.
Another cause is our upbringing. Authoritarianism, intolerance of error or the desire of some parents to have perfect children often inoculates some people with a constant feeling of failure. Of not being as good as others expect them to be.
Often, we focus on all our past mistakes without appreciating anything else. We remain stuck in this failed sphere. Every belittlement, fall, closed door, or rejection can take a toll on us. Instead of processing these experiences as learning opportunities, we become completely blocked and our self-esteem is damaged.
Likewise, dealing with a psychological disorder such as depression or anxiety fuels negative thoughts. Toxic and emotionally damaging relationships can also lead to the downfall of our self-esteem.
