While it's easy to feel sexy and passionate at the beginning of a relationship, with time, routine, work, or even a global pandemic, passion can wane. To avoid falling into this trap, here are several mistakes you should not make in bed.
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Feeling obligated to organise a ‘date night’ to have sex
Sometimes we think that a ‘date night’ with champagne, rose petals on the bed, and a sexy outfit will spice up one’s sex life. But when you think about it: a rich meal and alcohol is a great combination to end up in bed... snoring!
The best solution for those who have children is to get a babysitter or send them to the grandparents or a holiday camp. Their absence will allow you to let your imagination run wild in every room of your home. For those without children, devote some time for just the two of you, and the passion should be there.
Being content with what you have
Once in a relationship, knowing which button to press to bring pleasure to the other becomes easier and easier. But it's good to try and change things up. Avoiding routine is essential for a fulfilling sex life. Don't force yourself or your partner to try out risky acrobatic sex positions, but do see about adding a pair of handcuffs or sex toys to the lovemaking.
Comparing your sex life to others’
We are often inundated with sexual images and scenes, each more outrageous than the last. The pressure in the bedroom can thus build up. But in real life, sex can be awkward, gentle, vulnerable and, above all, it requires practice.
What's the solution? Keep an open mind. Communicating about your needs and desires will help you gain confidence and who knows, maybe try out that new position that excites you so much!
Other mistakes to avoid are listed below.
Feeling obligated to organise a ‘date night’ to have sex
You'd think that a ‘date night’ with champagne and a sexy outfit would spice up your sex life. But when you think about it: a rich meal and alcohol is a great combination to end up in bed... snoring
The solution for those who have children is to get a babysitter, etc... Their absence will allow you to let your imagination run wild. For those without children, take a moment for just the two of you.
Not having sex because you’re not in the mood
Not in the mood for sex? Maybe you're missing out.
The solution? Sexual contact makes you feel close to your partner and this can reduce stress. Sex also helps release endorphins, a brain chemical that reduces stress during the day and helps you sleep better at night.
Being content with what you have
Once in a relationship, knowing which button to press to bring pleasure to the other becomes easier and easier. But it's good to change things up.
The solution? Avoiding routine is the key to a fulfilling sex life. Don't force yourself or your partner to try out risky acrobatic sex positions, but do see about adding a pair of handcuffs or sex toys to your lovemaking.
Comparing your sex life to others’
We are inundated with sexual images and scenes, each more outrageous than the last. This can create pressure in the bedroom. But in real life, sex can be awkward, gentle, vulnerable and, above all, it requires practice.
The solution? Keep an open mind. Communicating about your needs and desires will help you gain confidence and who knows, maybe try out that new position that turns you on so much!
Not talking about sex together
The inability to communicate is at the heart of many relationship problems. It is often difficult to talk about sex, either because we have not learned to do so or because we fear being judged, humiliated, or silenced.
The solution? Your partner can't read your mind, and neither can you read theirs. Do you want to have sex more often or try something new? Talk about it. You'll see, it feels good to talk!
Taking your emotional connection for granted
Do you remember the last time you had a discussion with your partner that wasn't about what to have for dinner? We spend less and less time listening to each other and telling each other about our lives. Quality relationships require an intimate emotional connection.
The solution? Turn off the electronics and snuggle up together or talk about the day's events for at least 30 minutes.
