There are a whole galaxy of sexual kinks that people are into and spanking is certainly one of the most popular. According to Italo Baccardi, author of Dare to Spank, that’s because the practice takes us back to the time when we were children and we got a smack from our mother for doing something wrong. This may be a rather uncomfortable Freudian approach to the practice, but the truth is that many of us love to spank and be spanked.
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Spanking can be a great way to add a little danger to your bedroom activities, but it is a technique that still needs to be administered with care. You want your partner to scream with pleasure, not pain and agony.
How to make spanking sexy and safe
Including any sort of slightly aggressive act into your sex routine requires consent, communication, and understanding. To begin with, it is best to agree on a safe word so that you and your partner know when it’s going too far.
If you’re the person who is doing the spanking then Dr. Emily Morse, sex therapist and host of podcast Sex With Emily, suggests warming the area up before striking. She told Refinery29:
Start rubbing and caressing and massaging so their partner is all warmed up, before even going in with the spank.
She also revealed a technique you can use to reduce the pain. She continued:
You want to keep your fingers together, and you don’t want to separate them, because that can hurt.
And remember, as you’re slapping your partner’s behind, you should be hitting the fleshy part of the butt with an upwards motion. You’re not hitting on the bones or the side, but you’re slapping up.
The pleasures of erotic spanking
Apart from Baccardi’s rather bizarre theory, there are a lot of other reasons why spanking is so addicting.
Firstly, it increases the blood flow to the skin and upon being spanked, the nerve endings in the skin become more sensitive. Consequently, the feeling of being touched and kissed intensifies. Spanking also releases endorphins, which then decreases the cortisol levels considerably.
