The Oedipus complex isn't just an absurd Freudian theory. This was proven by a study conducted by an Australian dating site eHarmony. The majority of heterosexual men (64%) are in a relationship with a woman who shares strikingly similar personality traits with their mother.
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According to this study, this is due to the fact that men seek specific criteria in their partner. Very often, these criteria are similar to their mother's traits. Traits such as tolerance, thoughts about fidelity, empathy, being touchy (for those who like hugs) and altruism.
It's not surprising when we analyze these criteria, which are almost all part of a mother's education, which ingrains these values or points of view into the child's personality. Finally, men often look for a woman who looks like their mother, or who looks like what they were taught a woman should look like, often through their mother.
This is quite normal according to Rachel Lloyd, a relationship expertfor eHarmony, who explained to Men's Health:
It's common knowledge that we're attracted to people who look like us, and, to a certain extent, we're trying to recreate some aspects of our relationship with our parents.
The physical resemblance is also important
In addition to personality traits, many men, more or less unconsciously, tend to choose a partner whose physical appearance is similar to their mother's. This theory was approved by sociologist Laurence Bachmann for Femina:
We often play it safe in love. We believe that we freely choose our partner, but we unconsciously or semi-consciously take physical assimilation criteria into account.
This is called "homogamy," explains the expert from the Hautes Écoles Sociales in Geneva and Lausanne, before stating:
This is where men and women differ. There are more men who choose a woman who looks like their mother than women who seek to find their father through their husband's physical appearance.
While the preference for a "familiar" partner is not universal, it is still a reality. According to anthropologist André Langaney, we have to go back to the fundamentals of biology to find an explanation. He stated:
In mammals, the maternal imprint can be confused with the sexual imprint, as evidenced by some dogs raised by humans, without other dogs, who seek to mate with your leg. However, in humans, intelligence and culture play an important role. If you were comfortably raised by a loving mother, as an adult, you will probably try to reproduce this situation, which explains why some people are attracted to everything that reminds them of their mother. Either physically or through one's personality.
So, it's a little creepier. Especially since experts also say that this fascination is often repressed, or not admitted and that it can sometimes point to more serious problems related to the origins of the complex. This is the case, for example, of incest, or family relationshipproblems. But don't panic, because experts all agree on one point: all of this takes place in our subconscious. So don't worry, you won't start voluntarily looking for your mother's look-alike. It is rather she who will come to you.
Check out the video for more on this bizarre discovery!
